I wish I could sit back and say, ‘Oh, I’m gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it’s called. But you just take what’s given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That’s my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
I try to write three jokes every day. I don’t sit down and write them, it’s just things that pop into my head. Then I’ll go watch it fail onstage that night. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
You know, sometimes if you work – if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody’s so tired. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ is, like, really funny. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
There’s more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I’m not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it’s a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
Hollywood’s built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
That’s one of the great things about comedy: we can – and should – say the things that other people aren’t supposed to say. If we didn’t do that, if we didn’t push against those limits, we’d just be standing around onstage and yelling. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
When I do stand-up for a long time, I’ll get burned out, then I’ll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I’d like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I’ve written. That’s what I’m trying to do now, just write smaller movies. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It’ll be either that or an all-black nudist colony. Zach Galifianakis Read Quote
