I’ve been thinking of humorous things since I was… I can’t remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now. Steven Wright Read Quote
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That’s still what I am doing. The end. Steven Wright Read Quote
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn’t investigated. They might find that I don’t really exist – that I’m just a hologram. Steven Wright Read Quote
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That’s what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor. Steven Wright Read Quote
I was always making my friends laugh, but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom. Steven Wright Read Quote
I don’t get up, get dressed, go out, and think, ‘Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.’ Steven Wright Read Quote
I wear a hat on stage so that people won’t be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don’t wear a hat, there’s no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage. Steven Wright Read Quote
Comedians are sociologists. We’re pointing out stuff that the general public doesn’t even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see. Steven Wright Read Quote
