I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald’s. I’m completely turned off by the idea of politics. Steven Wright Read Quote
I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the ‘Boston Phoenix,’ and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that’s where I first saw ‘deadpan.’ Steven Wright Read Quote
What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny. Steven Wright Read Quote
I didn’t want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up. Steven Wright Read Quote
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it’s dangerous. Steven Wright Read Quote
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it. Steven Wright Read Quote
Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh. Steven Wright Read Quote
When I’m on stage, it’s really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It’s funny how different it looks and how it’s happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I’m going to get a bagel. Steven Wright Read Quote
When I was 16… I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because… they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. Steven Wright Read Quote
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn’t give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn’t seem right. Steven Wright Read Quote
