Because we live so much of our adult lives as singles, it no longer makes sense to assume that marriage is the only way people will organize their obligations and commitments. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Whatever their relative valuation of the single and married states, most societies in history made sharp distinctions between those who married and those who remained single: They were seen as mutually exclusive ways of life, with different legal rights and social obligations. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
I’ve had the kind of complex life I write about. I was a single mother for 12 years. I’d been engaged. The wedding fell through. I then discovered I was pregnant and opted to have the child on my own. I was a professor. I was in my mid-30s. I could manage it financially. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller, richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned, or more powerful. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
It’s always seductive to know where one stands in relation to the average. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Averages are useful because many traits, behaviors, and outcomes are distributed in a bell-shaped curve, with most results clustered around the middle and a much smaller group of outliers at the high and low ends. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Giving married women an independent legal existence did not destroy heterosexual marriage. And allowing husbands and wives to construct their marriages around reciprocal duties and negotiated roles – where a wife can choose to be the main breadwinner and a husband can stay home with the children – was an immense boon to many couples. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Why do people – gay or straight – need the state’s permission to marry? For most of Western history, they didn’t, because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents’ agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Deciding together to have a child and sharing in child-rearing do not immunize a marriage. Indeed, collaborative couples can face other problems. They often embark on such an intense style of parenting that they end up paying less attention to each other. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
Couples need time alone to renew their relationship. They also need to sustain supportive networks of friends and family. Stephanie Coontz Read Quote
