My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair. Rodney Dangerfield Read Quote
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. Rodney Dangerfield Read Quote
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’ Rodney Dangerfield Read Quote
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass. Rodney Dangerfield Read Quote