I have a very silly sense of humor. I’ve never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
I only do two things in my life, and that’s take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let’s have a ball. I’ll blow up the balloons myself. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can’t stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
I can make things, but I don’t cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I’m too absentminded. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. Paula Poundstone Read Quote
