The economics favour one-man comedy shows: all you need is one person, a microphone and a PA system. But I’m pleased so many people are making a living out of comedy – it’s a wonderful business to be in. Paul Merton Read Quote
In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time – midnight – and we were English. I got kicked in the head. Paul Merton Read Quote
In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. Paul Merton Read Quote
Generally speaking, politicians are an odd bunch. They seem to have very thick skins and genuinely don’t care what people think. And charm is a very important part of the politician’s armoury. I try to resist that kind of charm. Paul Merton Read Quote
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during ‘Meat Is Murder.’ Paul Merton Read Quote
When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I’d eat ten daily – marvellous. Paul Merton Read Quote
I’ll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I’ve never got over it. Paul Merton Read Quote
I was flying to the Maldives in 2000 when the plane went through turbulence – after that, I didn’t fly for four years. Then a job came up in India, so I did a simulator flight and learnt about what goes on in the cockpit. I’m fine now. Paul Merton Read Quote
If you became a comedian in the ’80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating. Paul Merton Read Quote
In a psychiatric hospital, a lot of people believe that people on TV are talking to them directly through the screen. I’m with about 500 of these people, and I’m on TV every Friday night. As I was queuing up for breakfast one morning, one guy nearly jumped out of his skin. My first thought was to go ‘Woooo!’ Paul Merton Read Quote
