I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky. Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny! Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set. Mitch Hedberg Read Quote
