My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. Milton Berle Read Quote
People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed. Milton Berle Read Quote
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank? Milton Berle Read Quote
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring. Milton Berle Read Quote
I received a lot of complaints from parents who wrote and told me that their kids wouldn’t go to sleep until our show was over. So I went on the air and told all the children watching to ‘listen to their Uncle Miltie and go to bed right after the show.’ Milton Berle Read Quote
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s sixth husband. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how to make it interesting. Milton Berle Read Quote
They’ve finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. Milton Berle Read Quote
I have a file of four million jokes… I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. Milton Berle Read Quote
