I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I’ll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
By Hollywood standards I’m still fat: until you are zero, you are big. I do get cold a lot now. I used to have a lot of layers – now I got to get a fur coat. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
I looked around and couldn’t believe no one has written a show about women and eating. It’s the biggest issue women have. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
Interesting-looking people have always been comedians, and it’s rare that someone who has the choice to model ends up being a comic. Except for maybe Whitney Cummings, but that’s about it. That’s why she’s special: because she can combine it. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
That’s the whole thing: You only roast the ones you love. That’s why I never make fun of the French. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
I’ve played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from different ethnic persuasions. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
I’m a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I’m lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin’ sensitive about jokes. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
I’m not ready to die yet. I have, like, 40 years left that I have to make up for all of the trouble I caused in my first 50 years. Lisa Lampanelli Read Quote
