Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
Thank you… preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
Thank you… ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta,’ for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’ Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
Thank you… adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, ‘Hi, I’m over 80 years old.’ Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
I don’t like to kick people when they’re down. I like to kick people when they’re up. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn’t the most popular kid. I wasn’t the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff’s going to be dragged up and, you know, I’ll be like, ‘Wait, what?’ Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
L.A., it’s nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
If people want to see you, they’ll find you. If they don’t see you on TV, they’ll find you on the Internet. Jimmy Fallon Read Quote
