The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. Jay Leno Read Quote
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that’s why they never hit any home runs. It’s a safety issue. Jay Leno Read Quote
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it – they’re the ones falling down the most. Jay Leno Read Quote
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good ‘ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers. Jay Leno Read Quote
Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day. Jay Leno Read Quote
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. Jay Leno Read Quote
Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? Jay Leno Read Quote
If God doesn’t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. Jay Leno Read Quote
The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don’t want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they’ll just be known as the Bullets. Jay Leno Read Quote
