I’m one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I’m watching. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
I’m one of those people, in any country I’m in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I’ll look out the window and say, ‘OK, there’s the Tower of London, there’s Buckingham Palace, there’s Big Ben,’ and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I’ve seen all of it and I can go home. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
I’m a very anti-vacation person. Because I’m always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don’t have to get on a plane. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you’re in Paris, right outside your window is the Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, the pyramids are right there. In the movies, every hotel has a monument right outside your window. My hotel rooms overlook the garbage dumpster in the back alley. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to do something like ‘The Jimmy and Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,’ doing a bunch of those in a row, then going back to the hotel, and then finally going to the club. Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, ‘Wait a minute. This apartment doesn’t have a ceiling.’ The landlord answers, ‘That’s OK. The people upstairs don’t walk around that much.’ Gilbert Gottfried Read Quote
