Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. George Carlin Read Quote
I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it. George Carlin Read Quote
When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? George Carlin Read Quote
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories. George Carlin Read Quote
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin Read Quote
