I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American. David Letterman Read Quote
Iraq’s elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they’re changing their name to the Democratic Guard. David Letterman Read Quote
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it? David Letterman Read Quote
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong. David Letterman Read Quote
New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move. David Letterman Read Quote
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton’s expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it’s been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector. David Letterman Read Quote
President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind? David Letterman Read Quote
The weather here is gorgeous. It’s mild and feels like it’s in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. David Letterman Read Quote
