It’s very rare to have a patient who isn’t absolutely delighted when you say, ‘I read your feedback. The session didn’t go well. You actually got more upset, and I made about three really horrible errors.’ If you do that from the heart and not as a gimmick, boy, it’s a wonderful thing. David D. Burns Read Quote
Most therapists do not appear to know how to pinpoint and reverse therapeutic resistance – to head it off at the pass. Instead, they try to persuade the patient to change, or to do the psychotherapy homework, while the patient resists and ‘yes-butts’ the therapist. The therapist ends up feeling frustrated and resentful, and doing all the work. David D. Burns Read Quote
Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem. David D. Burns Read Quote
Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero. David D. Burns Read Quote
Therapy is not to ‘talk about’ things, but to change the person’s life, and to relieve suffering, such as depression, anxiety, or relationship problems. David D. Burns Read Quote
What saddens me is seeing patients who have been going to therapy for years and years with no change, but they keep going to the same therapist. To me, that’s not right. David D. Burns Read Quote
Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious – we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying. David D. Burns Read Quote
There is no ‘ultimate goal of therapy.’ Thinking there is some ultimate or universal goal of therapy is one of the most fundamental errors of our field. To me, that concept is rather arrogant, as if therapists were some kind of spiritual experts who knew what human beings are supposed to be like. David D. Burns Read Quote
Learning to accept failure on multiple levels is, to my way of thinking, the key to become a world-class therapist. But that means humility, and setting your ego aside, while you develop superb new technical skills. David D. Burns Read Quote
Practically everybody knows what it’s like to feel anxious, worried, nervous, afraid, uptight, or panicky. Often, anxiety is just a nuisance, but sometimes it can cripple you and prevent you from doing what you really want with your life. But I have some great news for you: You can change the way you feel. David D. Burns Read Quote
