Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber’ union. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn’t changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he’s started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney’s friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said ‘Yes.’ Conan O'Brien Read Quote
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don’t know what they’re doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. Conan O'Brien Read Quote
