The problem is that even as you reveal the mysteries in your past, you are accumulating them in the present; complete honesty is the stuff of post-mortem, not autobiography. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
People still ask my husband and me which of us is the mom – which, as one lesbian friend pointed out to me, is like asking which chopstick is the fork. This pressure on us to embody normative traditions can be paralysing. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
My risk tolerance is higher than some people’s, but it’s not nearly as high as some people’s. I don’t want to exaggerate my bravado. I haven’t been on the front lines. I haven’t ever stepped on a land mine. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
I was kind of a scaredy-cat as a kid, and I made a very deliberate decision at some point that I was not going to let fear rule my life or determine my experience. That wasn’t so easily accomplished. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
There is enormous shame around depression of any kind and at any time. And there’s enormous social stigma attached to it, which we need to go on fighting. But I think that the sense of depression during pregnancy and early motherhood has been particularly stigmatized, that people especially feel that should be the happiest time of your life. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
One the one hand, the simple fact that there are children and that I do have an effect on them has been one of the most potent antidepressants that I’ve ever had. And on the other hand, there are moments when I feel imprisoned by the reality that I can no longer make my decisions just for myself, that I have to consider the interests of others. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
When I was born, the wisdom was that homosexuality was an illness; that it was caused largely by somebody’s mother, and a distorted relationship with the mother. And now, as I live my life – married to a husband, with kids – it’s an identity. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
When I was growing up, I kept hoping that I wasn’t really gay because I wanted to have children. I went through a long, tortured period, so the fact that I have been able to be true to myself and have a family has been the nicest surprise of my adulthood. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
I would have had an easier life if I were straight, but I would not be me. And I now like being myself better than the idea of being someone else, someone who, to be honest, I have neither the option of being nor the ability fully to imagine. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
Someday, being gay will be a simple fact, free of party hats and blame. But not yet. Andrew Solomon Read Quote
